That cumbersome morning erection. NSFW!
June 20, 2009
The images you are about to see are not… not wholesome, but I post them solely in the spirit of scientific inquiry. I am aware of certain debates hurtling through the diesel scented tunnels of the blogosphere, i.e. Mac vs. PC, Joel Hodgson vs Whoever, but none has, or will, attract as much traffic as the Cut vs. Uncut confrontation. There are times when I would have argued that the lowlife quack who took his scalpel to my infant cock should be coated with honey and stretched in the desert to be eaten by ants, and there are times, like today, after getting a glimpse of uncut mule dick, that I am compelled to make a donation to my local B’nai B’rith.
I repeat. These are not for the faint of heart. I’m a little faint of heart, and they make me ill. I’m not responsible. It’s the eye of the camera. And my mule’s cock.
Added bonus: my wife’s delicious photography of biddies!
Urk.
On the other hand, I am deeply amused that the only auto-generated posts listed are for “Macs vs. PCs.” You’ve dodged a bullet there!
I get the strangest searches on this blog. I just feel a little sorry for the person who visited early today googling “morning erection”. I don’t think this is what they had in mind.
Warm water, soap and a strong stomach — that’s all it takes. Cold water will even do in a pinch, if the day is warm. There’s a product with tea tree oil, but it’s expensive and sooner or later you have to face the truth: That dick ain’t gonna clean itself. Plain old mild soap does the trick.
http://www.equusite.com/articles/health/healthSheathCleaning.shtml
Seriously, I’ve done this chore a time or two, and after a while it’s not even that gross. Helps if you keep a certain baseline of clean to begin with.
Because almost all my fellow equestrians were female, I never considered the male-on-male squeamishness angle. I may have to make a house call.
Nance: Thank you. I’m surprised none of my draft books discussed this. Damn. We’ve got four males.
My experience in this regard is extremely limited, and on a much smaller scale, but I think I can manage it. Time to break out the nitrile gloves.
That’s what I’d expect to see if I got flashed by the troll under the bridge. Holy gnarled knobs, batman.
Now I understand how said knob gets cleaned. And I understand why, oh dear lord, the knob needs cleaning. My only confusion is this: who does the mule fluffing????
I’ve been out working on a building today, but as soon as I’m done this evening, I’ll get liquored up and soap some cocks. Tammie’s already pulled some of the smegma off Andy’s instrument, but as soon as she did he retracted it. She looked around to make sure her mother hadn’t walked up unexpectedly. We don’t have any KY jelly here, so I guess I’ll be going to the Harris Teeter if the soap doesn’t work.
Years back, a friend of mine who actually paid to go to comedy clubs heard a comedian ask “Why do they call it KY? Is it made in Kentucky?”
Well now we know.
Coozledad, saw this and thought of you…here’s the second massive, gnarled pecker of my day (oh, la, that sounds all kinds of wrong. Forgive me, I’ve been drinking):
http://bigfun.tumblr.com/post/122736890/mapplethorpe-louise-bourgeois-with-phallus
There was an issue of Nest that featured photos of a giant stuffed pachyderm an elderly English actress had gone to some expense to cram into the entry hall of her townhouse. Maybe she lopped that off and gave it away as a housewarming gift.
I wasn’t up to having bug juice this evening. I took advantage of the relatively cool weather to work in the sun today. I wore my straw hat, jeans and a t-shirt, and damn if I didn’t get burned directly through the hat and shirt. Is there an ozone layer anymore?
Tell Tammie the foul instruments can still be cleaned in their retracted state. Of course the boys probably appreciate a gentle touch, but short of tranquilizing them, you can’t really count on a dropped dingus throughout.
I’ve got to head to town to stock up on horse supplies today. Let’s see:
Ky Jelly
Apples
Carrots
Why do I think the grocery clerk will be smirking at me and thinking, “Heh. Someone’s looking at a trip to the ER with a fruit and vegetable medley up his ass.”
ok- So please let Tammie take the boys on- You sound a bit too eager to me. Nance may have to stage an intervention if you don’t- Or elsewise be a gentleMan. I love the biddies and clean the little one up before I’m invited for dinner. la
Did you know that I (and perhaps others? I hope?) keep visiting in hopes that you’ve blogged the denouement of this?
*waits in hopeful suspense*
Little Augury,Rana: It’s an incremental thing. I’ve been cleaning mule penises in fits and starts all week. Tammie’s been doing her share as well. They’ll stand there for awhile and let you pull the nasty bits off, and when you’re nearly done they retract the whole thing and saunter off, muttering “sick sumbitch.”
It is highly unlikely Barney will submit to a shaft cleaning unless he’s in full draft harness and has access to Oaxacan tequila. It’s likely I’ll need some kind of body armor before I grab old crazy’s pizzlin’ string.