Comments on: That cumbersome morning erection. NSFW!

By: coozledad

coozledad — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 01:54:48 +0000

Little Augury,Rana: It’s an incremental thing. I’ve been cleaning mule penises in fits and starts all week. Tammie’s been doing her share as well. They’ll stand there for awhile and let you pull the nasty bits off, and when you’re nearly done they retract the whole thing and saunter off, muttering “sick sumbitch.”
It is highly unlikely Barney will submit to a shaft cleaning unless he’s in full draft harness and has access to Oaxacan tequila. It’s likely I’ll need some kind of body armor before I grab old crazy’s pizzlin’ string.

By: Rana

Rana — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:29:58 +0000

Did you know that I (and perhaps others? I hope?) keep visiting in hopes that you’ve blogged the denouement of this?

*waits in hopeful suspense*

By: littleaugury

littleaugury — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:39:58 +0000

ok- So please let Tammie take the boys on- You sound a bit too eager to me. Nance may have to stage an intervention if you don’t- Or elsewise be a gentleMan. I love the biddies and clean the little one up before I’m invited for dinner. la

By: coozledad

coozledad — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 10:20:02 +0000

I’ve got to head to town to stock up on horse supplies today. Let’s see:
Ky Jelly
Apples
Carrots
Why do I think the grocery clerk will be smirking at me and thinking, “Heh. Someone’s looking at a trip to the ER with a fruit and vegetable medley up his ass.”

By: Nance

Nance — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:56:21 +0000

Tell Tammie the foul instruments can still be cleaned in their retracted state. Of course the boys probably appreciate a gentle touch, but short of tranquilizing them, you can’t really count on a dropped dingus throughout.

By: coozledad

coozledad — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:23:34 +0000

There was an issue of Nest that featured photos of a giant stuffed pachyderm an elderly English actress had gone to some expense to cram into the entry hall of her townhouse. Maybe she lopped that off and gave it away as a housewarming gift.
I wasn’t up to having bug juice this evening. I took advantage of the relatively cool weather to work in the sun today. I wore my straw hat, jeans and a t-shirt, and damn if I didn’t get burned directly through the hat and shirt. Is there an ozone layer anymore?

By: The Subtle Rudder

The Subtle Rudder — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:09:05 +0000

Coozledad, saw this and thought of you…here’s the second massive, gnarled pecker of my day (oh, la, that sounds all kinds of wrong. Forgive me, I’ve been drinking):

http://bigfun.tumblr.com/post/122736890/mapplethorpe-louise-bourgeois-with-phallus

By: coozledad

coozledad — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:42:11 +0000

I’ve been out working on a building today, but as soon as I’m done this evening, I’ll get liquored up and soap some cocks. Tammie’s already pulled some of the smegma off Andy’s instrument, but as soon as she did he retracted it. She looked around to make sure her mother hadn’t walked up unexpectedly. We don’t have any KY jelly here, so I guess I’ll be going to the Harris Teeter if the soap doesn’t work.
Years back, a friend of mine who actually paid to go to comedy clubs heard a comedian ask “Why do they call it KY? Is it made in Kentucky?”
Well now we know.

By: The Subtle Rudder

The Subtle Rudder — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:10:51 +0000

That’s what I’d expect to see if I got flashed by the troll under the bridge. Holy gnarled knobs, batman.

Now I understand how said knob gets cleaned. And I understand why, oh dear lord, the knob needs cleaning. My only confusion is this: who does the mule fluffing????

By: coozledad

coozledad — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 10:46:54 +0000

Nance: Thank you. I’m surprised none of my draft books discussed this. Damn. We’ve got four males.
My experience in this regard is extremely limited, and on a much smaller scale, but I think I can manage it. Time to break out the nitrile gloves.