You know, fuck this blogging thing. Once you actually connect with people you might know, you can’t say what you mean. I never realized how many liberals are swapping spit with the people who’d eat their dumbass frat-friendly babies until I tailored my work to the locals. Well fuck the shit out of that. To think I dreamed that one day I’d be able to breathe that rarefied air where no one you hung out with was burrowing their head in someone’s ass for a better job, or selling their god-given soul for a muscle-fuck with a lake hog just makes me long for a great plague, in which I have the privilege of vomiting my guts up first.

That said, here are some handy homeowner tips I’ve picked up over a chilly-billy winter.

1.You lumbersexuals better make sure you don’t have a predisposition to MS, or getting firewood to heat your thermapaned windowed bunnyshack will put you in the grave quicker than raw nicotene and DMSO.

2.The earth is simultaneously on fire and freezing. It’s a flaming ball of ice. You cannot live on it.

3.If you are raising sheep for meat, eat them as soon as they come out of the ass, because you are otherwise in for a world of stupid.

4.Cattle will eat hay. What they really want is no one’s guess. My bull likes to be scratched suggestively just above the anus.

I would not know this, but I was trying to figure out what he wanted.

5.The country life will alter your view of interpersonal relationships in such a way you won’t have any. 12/12/2014 1:28 PM

Republican ethics in ACTION:

Are every one of these motherfuckers sleazeballs, or just the ones that have an actual connection to the party?

One of those ECU Republicans. Perhaps even sorrier than the rest of that miserable subhuman lot.

the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do

For most people, blowing a kid’s brains out would be hard. Not Darren Wilson. The hardest thing he’s ever had to do was quit his job as a shouty authoritarian hillbilly sumpmuffin and bank on the wingnut welfare checks floating him and his new mother/wife until Regnery finds a ghostwriter for his kampfroman.

I’ll tell you the hardest thing you’ll have to do, Darren. Having all that money and no place to spend it. Not even to be able to walk into one of your favorite shitkicker cop bars and buy a round for the racists and perverts smearing shit on the restroom walls.

Because the rest of it is all hiding and waiting, innit.


Says Merle:”Mark was sorry he couldn’t be here, but he had to compose the musical program for this Sunday’s White Pride Thanksgiving. Let me just tell y’all how grateful I am fer the tailpipe!”

It’s sort of the way of cunts. Having all of the money and the stupid. The fear and the racism.

When they’re not sucking Mag Thatcher’s dead tits, they’re fucking workhouse boys and killing them.

Bad people. Badly made.

This is where Republicans usually get their money-through marriage to some family of crooks. We’ve got a bunch of junior McConnells here, just itching to sell America some blow:

And why he is completely unfit to hold office in NC or anywhere else: We don’t need that white trash here. Got plenty.

And sources tell me this clown is already trying to get him some Raleigh pussy!

You know how to pick em, white trash piedmont!


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