two or three year's work

two or three year's work

There are just some projects I keep trying to put out of my mind, promising I’ll get to at a later date, but really hoping I’ll have a stroke or be hit by lightning before that day comes. Some of them you can’t ignore because they are visible from the spot where you prefer to get soused, and some of them are house-sized.

I remember hearing about one of my old high school acquaintances who was famous for having a mortal terror of anything that smacked of work. He was briefly employed by his brother, who rehabbed historic homes for a living. They got a lucrative job fixing up a mansion built in the 20’s. A local basketball coach of some repute was having it redone as a gift to his newly married daughter. The day they went to inspect the place this guy tagged along to see what he had signed up for. It was a 25 room frame house the size of a hotel. They were going to heat-strip, sand, prime and put two coats on the exterior, chemically strip the interior oak woodwork, sand and refinish the floors, etc.

My friend staggered out of the truck, stood in the circular drive in front of the stairs leading to the double oak doors for a moment, then crumpled to his knees and vomited.

I feel his pain. But I’m not the vomiting kind. I’m more the uncontrollable sobbing sort.

This is definitely no mansion, but termites have turned what was otherwise a simple sand-and paint job into a nightmare mission involving long hours in a crawlspace with an entrenching shovel, removing siding, replacing frame members, and replacing siding…. then there’s the chimney.

Alright! A masonry project!

Alright! A masonry project!

It has to be disassembled to the ground some month when the European wasps aren’t actively trying to mob and kill intruders.

The interior could be worse, but not much worse.

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