These two don't bite. They only love.

These two don't bite: They only love

Here’s a couple of our elder geese. A mating pair, in fact. We’ve had geese for several years now, and I really couldn’t tell you why, except they are occasionally amusing. I guess it makes up for them producing their own volume in shit on a daily basis, the biting, and the savage beatings they can give you during laying season.

The eggs are very nice for an omelette, if you can locate the nest and brave the hormone infused monsters guarding it. I have learned that you don’t want to let them get hold of any of your appendages, because they will work them back to the point of their beak where the fulcrum is strongest, and begin tearing your fingers, or whatever, to bloody ribbons.

They are also very loud, a condition abetted by that echo chamber some of them sport on top of the beak. Apparently that’s a very old system, dating from the time when they were 120 times their current size, covered with scales, and denuding the earth of primitive trees. It helped them report their location to other groups of animals who’d covered areas the size of Rhode island with a six foot deep crust of feces. I’ve lain awake many nights, listening to them gurgle and honk, and wonder why people still believe in God.

I guess they don’t have geese.