This picture for scale. I'm no basketball player.

This picture for scale. I'm no basketball player.

But I wanted to wait until I could get pictures of them without the flash. Their names are Kate and Barney, Jane and Andy. Barney took an immediate interest in the authentic pot-bellied pig, which he apparently regards as vermin, to be killed whenever the opportunity presents. He literally has a hard-on for it, which looks to me like a piece of molten 2″ diameter ABS water pipe around 24″ long.

Even though he’s sterile and it’s biologically impossible anywhere outside of a bioweapons lab, I was imagining the unholy offspring of a 1900 pound equine and a burrowing, omnivorous razor toothed animal, and thinking they really need to stop pissing around with genetic engineering. Now.

The mules are actually very gentle, and they appeared to enjoy what they thought was a field trip. OK, they said. We’ve seen the damn zoo. Let’s get back in the truck and go home. Too many fucking pigs here, if you ask me.

But then we brought the sweet feed.

Ahhh. They said. A cocaine zoo.

Kate

Kate

Barney. Pig radar full on.

Barney. Pig radar full on.

Andy

Andy

Jane, insulted.

Jane, insulted.

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