To capture and subdue the bull is regarded by some as difficult, but following these three easy steps, a potentially dangerous task can be accomplished with minimal risk.

1. The initial approach.

Timing is critical, as is unusual headgear. Superfluous movements can enrage the bull. The hat can reverse this course by providing amusement.


2. The lunge.

Quickly feint to the left while pretending to check your watch. Secure the bull with both hands grasping the midsection. Do not boast.


3. Subduing the creature.

You are by no means certain of success at this point. The bull may enjoy the recitation of some short verse. Watch carefully for his reaction. If he remains calm grasp the pressure points at the base of the throat. Squeeze tightly.


The bull is now subdued. He can now be used as a sofa, or a flotation device.