We got another calf yesterday. When we first got up, Claude’s water had broken, and you could see the feet. After about half an hour of  Claude standing up, lying down, bouncing slightly with contractions, standing up, lying down, my wife said we ought to intervene. She’d watched a Youtube on assisting a difficult calving.

She started trying to pull the calf first, but no luck. The calf was stuck at the head. I tried for awhile until my arms gave out, and then we decided it was rope time. I got the rope, which was also attached to a block and tackle.  Fortunately we didn’t need the block and tackle:  Tammie looped the rope around the feet and pulled on the head while I pulled on the rope. Once the head was out we helped lower the calf out. You could feel the umbilical cord tearing.

After the calf stood up we went back to the house for breakfast, and we watched the youtube, just to review. At one point the guy asks the vet ” Is the cow in pain?”

The vet gives the peremptory answer about endorphins while the cow bellows in agony ” Gah! aggghh. Help! fffft.” My answer would have made note of the empirical evidence.

“Dude,  even ignoring the vulva, look at the shape of that asshole, and tell me: What the fuck do you think?”