You’ve got to wonder what they were thinking at Harvard when they tapped Niall Ferguson for Tisch professor of Bring Back The Holy Roman Empire, because even as drab Thatcherite ciphers go, he’s an intellectually bereft brick of freeze dried pinworms.

This is the guy who said a German victory in WWI would have ushered in a Pax Europa and jumpstarted a European Union decades ahead. It would have stopped the red wheel and the black wheel and Alfred Krupp would have started making dinner plates and cars and beer steins instead of those naughty things the existence of other states forced the German industrial apparat to make.

They were only going to do the Shrecklichkeit thing for a little while, until the troublemakers got it out of their systems, or a few more thousand were fried trying to escape through the ingenious electric fence the Germans strung along the borders of whatever country they happened to occupy, or were systematically shot, or hanged, or playfully gunned down by a few high spirited German boys.

This European Union could have done without libraries or books that maligned the essential superiority of the German virtues of loyalty and precision and loyalty.

The petty bickering of politicians would have been replaced by the smooth operatin’ machine staat, where chronic inefficiencies were absorbed in the mesh of gears like undesirable light spectra in a lampshade.

And most of all, it would have held out the possibility of a return to the Hapsburgs, who were Not. Fucked. Up. At. All.


Fuck Harvard up its ass.

On a related Bush administration arse-gobbler note, where do Republicans study history? In the swampy recesses of their own cracks?