Buried in this piece of flagrant Duke Energy arse-crawling, Courier Times Stenogapher Tim Chandler accidentally catches gobshite slumlord David Newell in a volte face from a public hearing on Duke Energy dumping its filth in the Flat River watershed.

“Coal ash has been around here forever. …We don’t need to be acting on emotion.”

Those were among the comments made by Commissioner David Newell shortly before the Person Board of County Commissioners voted to table a proposed coal ash moratorium Monday.

Considering two weeks ago Newell was playing to the gallery and pledging to hold Duke Energy accountable for “Dumping their garbage on someone else” that comes as a major, yet predictable shift in position. Either someone slipped him a couple of twenties or reminded him he was elected to swaller his chaw and kiss him some ass.

Commissioner Frances Blalock was seeking to gain commissioners’ approval of a resolution for a mora- torium on coal ash transfer to municipal solid waste landfills.

Newell said if there had not been a coal ash spill from Duke Energy’s Eden Dan River Steam Station on Feb. 2, commissioners would likely not have been discussing the issue Monday.

No shit, Sherlock. If Duke had lived up to its end of the environmental bargain they made in return for dicking their customers and shareholders, we likely wouldn’t even know they were moving on to pump their shit in the Durham City Reservoir. Also, Mr. History Channel, if Hitler hadn’t invaded that there Russia, you’d have been able to complement your natural Benny Hill look with a pair of lederhosen.

Approximately 70 miles of the Dan River was contaminated by the spill that reportedly coated about 70 miles of the bottom of the Dan River with coal ash.

Newell pointed out that drinking water had not been affected by the spill and “nobody got hurt.

“If there had been no spill, and Duke wanted to clean up [that ash pond], would we have said a word?” Newell asked. “I doubt it.”

Asked what he thought about Chernobyl, Newell said “Look, in a couple of million years entirely new species may populate the area around that old reactor core. And they’ll be better and stronger than us. They’ll know when to keep their Goddamned mouths shut, anyway.”

Duke Energy officials have also pointed out to commissioners that water directly from the Dan River has been ruled suitable for consumption by livestock and for irrigation purposes.

Asked for comment, several Dan River basin cattle said “Fuck this shit. It’s safer at Chernobyl.”

The resolution originally scheduled to be considered by commissioners was replaced by one submitted by Blalock Monday morning.

Commissioner Kyle Puryear argued that the resolution submitted by Blalock should have been presented to commissioners in their pre-meeting agenda packet.

(Along with the powdered Harvey Wallbanger mix and those little airline bottles of Smirnoff.)

County Attorney Ron Aycock advised that, according to a contract between Person County and the Republic Services, which operates the Upper Piedmont Landfill, “the county does not have the authority to say [Republic Services] can’t take waste.” Aycock said the county could request that no coal ash be taken, but could not halt the coal ash transfer.

In other words, the people of Person county can just eat shit and die. They have no say in the matter. (Aycock seems to have missed the fact that governments enjoy eminent domain, and can bulldoze his house to make a road to carry dumptrucks full of coal ash to stick up his legally illiterate ass).

Duke Energy District Manager Tanya Evans told commissioners Monday that she and company officials had several issues with the original resolution being considered. That resolution, Evans said, originated from the Dan River Basin Association and had no input from Duke Energy officials. It included many “misrepresentations,” according to Evans.

“We understand your need to show concern,” Evans told commissioners.* “We are going to do the right thing. I’ll remind you that we have a history of doing the right thing.”

I’ll just leave this here again:

And I’ll leave you altogether with another story about David Newell. It’s from early vote in 2012. I was standing not too far from Newell. I was electioneering for the Democratic slate, he was electioneering for “Democrat” David Newell.

A rangy, dirty guy showed up to vote, along with his distressed floursack of a wife.
He was one of your stiffer peaks of human feces, whipped up from cheap food and bad information- a Phil Robertson looking piece of fakeass backwoods trash, with spittle trails in his beard and a stinkye for the other people showing up to vote. He looked around disgustedly before offering “I IZ PRO-LIFE CONSERVATIVE!!!! ”

David Newell couldn’t get over to the freak and hug his bandy knees fast enough.
I IZ CONSERVATIVE, TOO! Said David Newell.

I turned away so I wouldn’t have to watch them swap some of the “life” thriving in the hydrogenated fats oozing from every pore and fissure of their pinkish gray integuments. I suddenly had an image of them at the head of a line trying to get a jump on the last of the Twinkies before Hostess Foods shut the doors on that operation, bloodily severing quite a few bingo arms in the process. Newell would have won, because he would have been willing to draw blood for an investment he could wrap his face around. He’s the kind of guy who’d mop up the stocks required to get controlling interest in Waffle House (if he were made of real money, instead of a slumlord operation built on his daddy’s earnings and his own peasant cunning).

Last election cycle, we rented our Democratic Party headquarters building from that lowlife. Rest assured, we won’t be giving him any more money, ever.

* I don’t know what’s more stunning here: this coke addled bimbo’s contempt for democracy, her confidence that a couple of ass kissers on the county commission will let her slide with that flagrant abuse of the entire notion of the public trust, or the paper uncritically printing her airhead bullshit. I’d submit this question as a poll, but the Courier Times would freep it.