Back in 2006, we gave money to Jim Webb to run for whatever it was that he made us try and forget we gave him money for. Senate, I think. We knew he kissed Reagan’s balls on the reg’lar, but it was hard to find a DC asslapper who wouldn’t climb on the casting couch with his corpse and give his old turd pincher a knock or two.

After Obama was elected, Jim Webb became the conscience of Southside VA, which is a hamper full of crusty Confederate flag swimwear gleaming with a July hatch of bottleflies. He HATED that Obama! He pitied the Po White! He still loved him some Reagan dick!

Well now he’s found him another old dead cock to do squats on, and this one is made of the very wood that white America used to give enslaved people for chophandles to build America while white America got drunk and fucked its daughters on the portico; back when ALL of America was pretty much Southside, VA- feral, diseased, stupid, venal, and in everyone’s face. Jim Webb is now in a threesome with animatronic Reagan and Andrew Jackson, and he’s shorted the damn things out and given himself a bad case of the 110 volt thunderclap.

One would think we could celebrate the recognition that Harriet Tubman will be given on future $20 bills without demeaning former president Andrew Jackson as a “monster,” as a recent Huffington Post headline did. And summarizing his legendary tenure as being “known primarily for a brutal genocidal campaign against native Americans,” as reported in The Post, offers an indication of how far political correctness has invaded our educational system and skewed our national consciousness.

You know what skews a national consciousness, sailor? Four hundred years of chattel slavery and a closet sex trade with that oh so special Presbyterian stamp. Fifteen year old girls being swapped around by slavers as toys for dribbling white dick. The collateralization of black bodies as capital for a country without enough gold to back its currency. Four centuries of murder and rape.

Your America is still looking a whole lot like Southside, VA, but proceed…

This dismissive characterization of one of our great presidents is not occurring in a vacuum. Any white person whose ancestral relations trace to the American South now risks being characterized as having roots based on bigotry and undeserved privilege. Meanwhile, race relations are at their worst point in decades.

No one is saying that anyone born in the south has roots based in bigotry. What we’re saying is every state was propped up by the slave economy. That we are the inheritors of a foaming tide of blood that inspired the policies of Nazi Germany and the race fantasies of everyone from Thomas Jefferson to John Calhoun to George Wallace to Jim Webb.

Far too many of our most important discussions are being debated emotionally, without full regard for historical facts. The myth of universal white privilege and universal disadvantage among racial minorities has become a mantra,

As we debate how to ship the Messicans back across the border, keep bathrooms safe for Dennis Hastert’s party, find new ways to disenfranchise black voters and keep wages at merely decorative levels, I would caution Webb to remember that the murder of nine people in Charleston was a product of the kind of emotionalism he’s in favor of.

You know what? I can’t even go on with the stupid that is Jim Webb’s paean to another dumbass white. I’ll just put this here to remind people of where we are today: