Nancy: I wartched a Spike Lee movie and it was too many black people saying stuff. It hit me on the head so much. People were acting like they know what’s going on in the future. I would rather wartch Mad Men and Game of Thrones. More white people.

Basset:I got my first pension check, so I bought me a magnet, put it on a string, and went to look for muh lost toe down at the pier. Couldn’t get the magnet out of the floorboard of the car, cause the car is metal. Went home and sulked.

Beb: You are just a sad old man like me. What you need with dead toe?

Jackash: Wohoho, boys, don’t upset the apple cart just because of a little senility. We can all be superficially kind to one another here while I take cowardly little digs at you like a skeevy little shit. You like it, too, because you love being treated like worms.

beb: I am raising bushy eyebrow. Are you sulting me?

Jeff TMMO: Far be it from, I believe, an insult to whom it is meant whereby a Christ-figure like mine self may gently prod the infirm and the poor of spirit with a frangible mix of the humoresque and la occasionelle cut indirect, I believe Jackash is just saying he loves you in the way that I love you, which is strictly in a Christian way, and not to be confused with the goings on in our fellowship hall.

Sally: I wanna eat a chocko bunny from the head down.

Basset: Nope. Not for me. I don’t like movies or candy. Reminds me too much of the times I threatened to shoot up the house during the holidays. I like working a black mood. My British mother used to call me “Auld Cunty.” It means “regular fellow.”

Speaking of which, I ain’t had a movement in a couple of weeks. Maybe another chunk of venison will push it out.