Every time a Republican opens its face-hole, you’ll hear how private enterprise works better than the government, so we need to give private enterprise the money the government would otherwise get.

Well, Republicans are going to just have to blow it out their ass, their mouth, and their eyeballs, aren’t they? Too bad they had to take so many innocent human beings with them.


Texas should have been quarantined the moment they started teaching that creationism bullshit. Now would be a good time to start enforcing travel restrictions on states suffering Republican majorities.


Too many of the people who are used to owning and running this county are still clinging to life, and insist on legislating from the edge of the grave. Our institutions are deeply compromised by the presence of old men and social climbers who can’t distinguish between love of country and a desire to ensure they are perpetually flush with cash, even unto their last struggle for a mouthful of air. Part of the problem is that lake and the scuzz that drifts up around it, like wads of hair and dust underneath a mildewed old sofa. It’s a floating world of drunkards, race baiters and theocrats, all of them whistling Dixie out their assholes.

Well at least now the county elders who’ve been power-tossing each other’s salads from the courthouse to the banks of the Hyco will soon have the option of marriage, and they can make themselves partly honest men.

There is progress in this world, after all.

White people, Republicans especially, seem to think it’s alright for them to stand on a corner and yell nigger nigger nigger. They feel no need to apologize for their general shittiness or slovenliness until they’re threatened with jail or a loss of income.

Larry Yarborough stood on a street corner and yelled nigger nigger nigger. In doing so he used photoshop to accent his slurs.

Larry doesn’t seem to understand that as a public figure, he’s not at liberty to behave like a child where his picture might be taken, and he’s not at liberty to demand they be taken down. In fact, that would be an abrogation of the very liberty he takes standing on a street corner yelling nigger nigger nigger.

He’s a drunk fratboy. He’s running for public office. He deserves deference why? That’s for the circle jerk of Person County Republicans to figure out. They need to learn to keep the drunk at home, like me.

EDIT: The North Carolina Republican Party and its teabag subsidiary are lower than shit. There are no redeeming features or qualities. They’re an excrescence. A carbuncle. if you’re not fighting them, you hate your country:


And another edit, this time courtesy the former chair of the South Carolina Republican Party. He sounds like he’s fighting Kyle Puryear’s “war”:


If you’re not fighting Republicans, you’re in bed with them.

Unrepentant Chevy Nova weaponizer and veteran of some ouchy hazing at South Carolina’s Backwoods Bellhop Academy*, Mr. Kyle Puryear, has collided with a telephone pole on Depot street again, lurched out of the passenger side door, fallen down, vomited down his shirt, passed out, woke up agin and started to ramble about the visions a .13 blood alcohol level can produce in a boy what won’t grow the fuck up.

$213,629.00 is the amount of tax dollars lost when the county sued the City of Roxboro over the recreation center to be located at Huck Sansbury Park, along with design fees, all of which I voted against.

Course I voted against it cause people what votes for me don’t want to swim with nigras. Next thing you know there’d be fornications and miscegenations dilutung the fine bloodlines of Person County what produced specimens like me and Leigh Woodall. There’s only one genetic pool to swim in, folks, and she’s your cousin.

That may seem like a drop in the bucket to some officials, but to me it sounds more like Niagara Falls.

P.J. Gentry phoned me this joke on my i-pad and I thought it had to be funny cause it had the N-word in it but I must have been shitfaced or having the dyspepsica without my glasses.

$213,629.00 was truly wasted and our county government has nothing to show for it.

ED. Like those “convenience sites” Kyle ran on, or his promised opposition to the landfill, or his emails which can’t be accessed under the NC public information act because his skank crooked ass has deleted them. The editor’s request for Puryear’s emails was answered with a demand that I provide drunken shitsack Kyle Puryear my email address. This is opening the door to an identity theft grift, as well as being in direct contravention to NC law.  Ahem:

Anyone can request public records and no statement of purpose is required. There are no restrictions placed on the use of records and there is no time limit for a response. Section § 132-6 of the North Carolina Public Records Lawstates that a custodian of public records shall make them available “at reasonable times and under reasonable supervision by any person, and shall, as promptly as possible, furnish copies thereof upon payment of any fees as may be prescribed by law.”

This is just one of many examples that would have been buried deep in the black hole of closed session minutes, never to see the light of day, If I had not been persistent in making the public aware of the financial loss.

ED.Is that the same black hole you’ve had the District Attorney, your attorney, and your party try and sweep your multiple DWI arrests into? Cause it’s blacker than a recreation center swimming pool!

Over the last 8 years, I have opposed wasteful county spending, after all these are your tax dollars and should be treated as such. I ask for your support on Nov. 4th so I can continue to keep watch over your tax dollars.

After I knock back a couple them little pitchers of Coors’ at Dalton’s sports bar with my good friend, shiftless Larry “Swamp Tater” Yarborough. Thankee.

*The Citadel.  HaHa.

Kyle Puryear. Urrrp.

Not to be outdone by his racist drinking buddy, Larry Yarborough wrings the liquor out of his button down shirt, crawls up on the bar, stands up, pitches off the bar, hits his head on the terrazzo floor, gets back up, rolls his eyes into the back of his head and farts this stream of gibberish:

How can Ray Jeffers represent the “working people” if he doesn’t have a job?

ED.The quotation marks are a nice touch, Larry. Are those scare quotes, or is that just Louisianish for Blacks?

What has he done over the last 5 years except be a politician?

ED.He’s President of the North Carolina Association of County Commissioners, and the Chairman of the National Association of Counties’ Rural Action Caucus. You’ve been nothing but an attempted politician the entire time I’ve had to look at your bloated face in the Courier-Times. Ray’s also been busy putting a boot in your ass at every election, partly because you are an equal opportunity asshole when it comes to alienating voters of every political stripe.

Larry Yarborough has been growing business and creating Jobs.

ED. Being bought out of your wife’s business because, as the purchaser noted “Either that schmuck goes or I do” is only growing jobs in the sense that you, Larry “Swamp Tater” Yarborough, took the money and headed over to Dalton’s Sports Bar to pour liquor down your shirt:

By the time they’re thirty or so, most drunks will recognize they’re not going anywhere much besides the ass-end of obscurity, particularly if they have no discernible talent or ability to fend for themselves outside the nucleus of some dog pack or other-a frat, a community of skank brokers looking for a patsy to front them, or even a bunch of toothless, white robed losers looking to spill some blood.

You got as far as you were going to get. You did it through marriage, and you did it through an overgenerous portion of luck and the apparent desperation of your party. And the people of this county voted you out.

That’s why your party’s purse strings are so tight when it comes to you. Even at a time when they’re flush with cash and flooding this state with it to get some of their white hoods up to DC to drool on the House and Senate floors. They’re cutting you out, Larry.

That’s why you started styling yourself as a white power candidate so early, playing that hand your party usually saves for the last few days of October. That’s why the flyers you sent out last week are nothing but shit paper in more ways than will ever elicit your dim comprehension.

I understand the Jaycees want to host a debate between you and Mr. Jeffers- a debate hosted by your friends and erstwhile political allies, on the friendliest ground- friendlier even than a shitfaced dance party at a Hyco lake Crayfish boil.

And they’ll have to scrape your ass off the floor because there isn’t enough meth, or valium, or bourbon or whatever it is you were hopped up on at the last forum to help you get through this impending ass-beating.

PJ Gentry will not be able to text you answers in real time to overcome your memory deficiencies, and Kyle Puryear won’t be able to appear on stage with you to make you look a shade smarter or more sober by comparison. Ray’s going to tear you a new asshole and you know it. Your party knows it.

The Democrats are already shopping for the popcorn.

Ja jah Larry Yarborough
With his spilly drank
Say:”Ima dance in the Raleigh
where my shit don’t stank”


Ima dance at the parties
and the legislature
Nobody nowhere will denature my nature.


I will let my mind wander
to the break of day
till they scrape my butt up
and cart me away


Back home PJ Gentry
in her leopard pants
will be frosting her tips
for her cooga dance.


Eena leopard print Babylon

Eena leopard print Babylon

By the lake Hyco.

In a Moebius strip of Republican mole rat arse chewing, Larry “Swamp Tater” Yarborough has had “The Committee To Elect Larry Yarborough” fund his latest jello wrestling match with the English language right there on page A9 of the Courier Times.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear “The Committee To Elect Larry Yarborough” I get a mental image of

a) The guys in the psych ward playing matchstick poker for cigarettes.
b) Larry Yarborough.

Once again, Larry’s selected target is the NAACP, or the president of its county chapter. This is consistent with the “post racialist” racism that knits together various elements of the current Republican party, those elements being the folks who pretty much own everything, and the people delusional enough to think they’ll be able to suck their own fortune out of that rich ass.

It’s frequently said of Larry that he must negotiate the thin line between ignorance and arrogance, and it’s a tough one to walk after half a dozen Coors. It gets even tougher for him when he’s got to nail a couple of sentences together, which is probably why he seemingly hearkens back to his fratboy days every time he’s compelled to make an utterance. Well, let’s see what he’s got, now that the “Committee to Elect Larry Yarborough” has slapped his torpid shagging corpus with the oar from a gator boat, or whatever the frats use down there in skeeter country.

While Mr. Lester’s editorial on Wednesday was mostly full of distorted Democratic talking points, he did bring up some issues that we need to work on together.

While Mr. Lester is black, and represents the interests of black people, the working poor, and people who have not inherited their money or married it, I will condescend to him in epic Tory fashion, because I am the product of a couple of centuries of inbreeding from the dank hell of Lousiana’s gulf coast, and I can not help my peckerwood self.

Public safety is the most important government role.

That bullshit about”protecting the weak from the strong” would never have flown during pledge week. I still have the cigarette burns on my ass to prove it.

I will work with both sides to support our sheriffs, deputies and police officers. I want to support and improve our courts. I believe we can work together to improve our schools.

I will support a jurisprudence system that incarcerates young black males for the same offences me and my sons and grandsons and Kyle Puryear will skate on forever and ever, amen. I will also do my Louisiana best to deny equal access to education to low income and black children

I wish that there was money available to do all that he wishes for but until the economy improves significantly we will just have to work hard with what we have.

We have done give all the money to the people what fucked up the economy, and we want a chance to give them some more of what little you have left. Because the economy works so much better when you shovel every dime to people who have never, and will never, have to spend a significant portion of that money to hire some hick flunky like me to whore for them.

That is just common sense.

The sense common to every aspiring crooked bastard who is virtually choking on his own arrogance.

That is why I am running to represent you in Raleigh.

That, and the abundant liquor that flows when the lobbyists show up for the big circle jerks.

Larry “Swamp Tater” Yarborough.
Paid for by the Committee to elect Larry Yarborough and the money left over from the Hyco Lake FREE GEORGE ZIMMERMAN fireworks, shag-a-thon and pig-pickin’.

We done got us a headquarters before the Republicans around here could wash the dookie out their morning shorts.

It’s a big ol’ thang what used to be a hair salon and tattoo parlor and when people come in they sit down and talk like it was the most natural electric blue walled place you would sit and talk about the drunks on the other side careening into political obscurity.

I’m not denying we have our drunks. I’m one of our drunks. It gives my life a particular shape. But I’m a social drunk, who believes that climbing into the driver’s seat of a car while drunk is a crime.

I would like the Democrats to have a permanent headquarters in Roxboro, but as it stands, we can’t really afford one. It would be nice to have a place where we could present slideshows on the history of the labor movement in a place you didn’t have to rent, or a place where people could sign up to get their kid’s teeth fixed.

I dream.


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