This is where Republicans usually get their money-through marriage to some family of crooks. We’ve got a bunch of junior McConnells here, just itching to sell America some blow:

And why he is completely unfit to hold office in NC or anywhere else:

We don’t need that white trash here. Got plenty.

Maybe once he finishes his sentence in Georgia, he’ll move over to Hyco lake. He’s even got that bug-eyed creepy look they like so much here.

If his county’s anything like this one, he’ll just get continuations while they scrub the charges altogether. It’s a good time in America to be a moldy slab of white trash.

Roxboro NC: Republicans protesting the arrest of former BOE member Leigh Woodall are demanding answers regarding the status of his white privilege card, and his treatment in full public view of assembled Democratic early voters, many of whom will remember the incident wistfully for the rest of their lives.

After conducting an initial investigation, Internal Affairs officers noted that “Subject Leigh Woodall, described by officer as a pear shaped sweaty anger bear became belligerent after pulled for stop sign violation. Officer warned subject to calm down whereupon subject violated arrestee protocol by asking officer Do you know who the f—I am?” Whereupon subject was zip tied while staring at close range at hood of officer’s car.

Officer stated that subject might have reached for officer’s gun, but also might not have. Tests for marijuana, powdered cocaine, crack cocaine, methamphetamine, bath salts, tar process heroin, LSD and psilocybin were inconclusive, whereas traces of Viagra, Red Bull, and Lipitor were in evidence prior to lab work.

Subject may or may not have been captured minutes previously on a Shell Station video camera shoplifting several packages of Ex-Tenze, two bottles of Johnny Bootleggers’ Green Apple Nightmare, and several Honey-Bun cakes.

When do you call a Nazi a shit-eating gropefather of a cousinfucking Nazi slut a Nazi?

When it’s in the Person County Republican party.

Fucking Mosleyite shite.


Every time a Republican opens its face-hole, you’ll hear how private enterprise works better than the government, so we need to give private enterprise the money the government would otherwise get.

Well, Republicans are going to just have to blow it out their ass, their mouth, and their eyeballs, aren’t they? Too bad they had to take so many innocent human beings with them.

Texas should have been quarantined the moment they started teaching that creationism bullshit. Now would be a good time to start enforcing travel restrictions on states suffering Republican majorities.


Too many of the people who are used to owning and running this county are still clinging to life, and insist on legislating from the edge of the grave. Our institutions are deeply compromised by the presence of old men and social climbers who can’t distinguish between love of country and a desire to ensure they are perpetually flush with cash, even unto their last struggle for a mouthful of air. Part of the problem is that lake and the scuzz that drifts up around it, like wads of hair and dust underneath a mildewed old sofa. It’s a floating world of drunkards, race baiters and theocrats, all of them whistling Dixie out their assholes.

Well at least now the county elders who’ve been power-tossing each other’s salads from the courthouse to the banks of the Hyco will soon have the option of marriage, and they can make themselves partly honest men.

There is progress in this world, after all.

White people, Republicans especially, seem to think it’s alright for them to stand on a corner and yell nigger nigger nigger. They feel no need to apologize for their general shittiness or slovenliness until they’re threatened with jail or a loss of income.

Larry Yarborough stood on a street corner and yelled nigger nigger nigger. In doing so he used photoshop to accent his slurs.

Larry doesn’t seem to understand that as a public figure, he’s not at liberty to behave like a child where his picture might be taken, and he’s not at liberty to demand they be taken down. In fact, that would be an abrogation of the very liberty he takes standing on a street corner yelling nigger nigger nigger.

He’s a drunk fratboy. He’s running for public office. He deserves deference why? That’s for the circle jerk of Person County Republicans to figure out. They need to learn to keep the drunk at home, like me.

EDIT: The North Carolina Republican Party and its teabag subsidiary are lower than shit. There are no redeeming features or qualities. They’re an excrescence. A carbuncle. if you’re not fighting them, you hate your country:

And another edit, this time courtesy the former chair of the South Carolina Republican Party. He sounds like he’s fighting Kyle Puryear’s “war”:

If you’re not fighting Republicans, you’re in bed with them.


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