But I wanted to wait until I could get pictures of them without the flash. Their names are Kate and Barney, Jane and Andy. Barney took an immediate interest in the authentic pot-bellied pig, which he apparently regards as vermin, to be killed whenever the opportunity presents. He literally has a hard-on for it, which looks to me like a piece of molten 2″ diameter ABS water pipe around 24″ long.
Even though he’s sterile and it’s biologically impossible anywhere outside of a bioweapons lab, I was imagining the unholy offspring of a 1900 pound equine and a burrowing, omnivorous razor toothed animal, and thinking they really need to stop pissing around with genetic engineering. Now.
The mules are actually very gentle, and they appeared to enjoy what they thought was a field trip. OK, they said. We’ve seen the damn zoo. Let’s get back in the truck and go home. Too many fucking pigs here, if you ask me.
But then we brought the sweet feed.
Ahhh. They said. A cocaine zoo.
15 comments
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December 5, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Sue
Love that first picture. I hope they help fill the silly void left by Lucy.
December 5, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Archangel Gabrielle
They are absolutely beautiful and lucky critters to have landed on the Coozlefarm.
December 5, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Nance
In any gathering of equines, the girls are boss, you know. My money’s on Jane.
December 5, 2008 at 5:36 pm
The Subtle Rudder
Perhaps you can confirm for me, coozledad: are mules more cow than horse in the fur-feel? That’s how they always look to me. I must say, Kate and Andy are my favorite by looks, although Barney seems to have other attractive attributes. Ahem. And I’d stick around for sweet feed any day. And pigs (but I gotta get to eat ’em).
December 5, 2008 at 5:38 pm
The Subtle Rudder
And now I fear I’ve insulted poor Jane again, not mentioning her in my first comment. It’s like my bed full of stuffed animals as a kid: I had to be sure everyone had room, and they all got a rotating chance at the pillow. Couldn’t leave anyone out, for fear of bad feelings. I was a little sensitive, and imagined everyone (fleshed or furry) was the same way.
December 5, 2008 at 6:33 pm
coozledad
Just got through another hitching and driving lesson. I’m such a slow learner. Jane is in fact the mule I’ll be using to pull logs out of the woods. She was a pet up in Pennsylvania, but also worked hard, and she’s in the best condition. Andy and Barney are the lead mules, and in a team of four, they’re in the middle. Kate’s very sweet.
Some children played too much with Barney’s ears, and he doesn’t want you to spend too much time getting the bridle on or off him. He gets the crazy eyes.
December 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm
MichaelG
This is going to be fun. How old are they? By sweet feed do you mean something like corn, oats and barley with molasses? Around here it’s called sweet cob. It turned our goats into slugs. They refused to eat weeds after being fed the stuff. You never saw such victims.
Four of those guys – and working. That’s going to be a hell of a feed bill. Do they have animal food stamps? I should have asked that one several years ago.
December 5, 2008 at 8:11 pm
coozledad
I think the youngest is six. We’re going to buy bulk oats this year, but I’m hoping to feed them off the place at least in a couple of years. Yep, that’s the stuff. We use it mostly to bribe animals, or supplement them when it’s very cold.
I plan to work them for short intervals about three days a week during the winter. Now I’ve got to go study the draft animal manual some more. For me, this is damned rocket science.
December 5, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Rana
Those are some fine-looking mules!
Do keep an eye on Barney and the pig, though; some of my friends had a burro who took a dislike to one of their goats in a similar way, and he ended up savaging the goat to the point that the goat lost a leg.
Of course, knowing pigs and how loudly they scream when upset, if he tries anything, it’d be impossible not to know about it.
December 6, 2008 at 8:47 am
coozledad
Rana: Right now I think their apprehension of the pig is giving way to curiosity. We also have a small obese black dog that they confuse with the pig. They’re fine with dogs, so maybe that will help.
December 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
MichaelG
I don’t know where you got that little picture thingy next to my name but it looks exactly like me. Uncanny.
December 6, 2008 at 7:37 pm
moe99
This is reminding me of Tom Waits’ Mule Variations. May have to pull out the CD and play it in honor of your lovely additions.
December 6, 2008 at 8:34 pm
coozledad
Michael: I was definitely caught off guard Thursday night when WordPress started changing stuff around. But I have to say the orange nitrile gloves work for you, if we’re looking at the same avatar.
Moe: I quit collecting CDs a while back, but I heard Mule Variations was good. Tom is one of the few people who recognize that good pop is fundamentally good acting.
December 6, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Sue
Yeah, I don’t know why Moe gets a cute germ-bug picture and I get a crabby one.
December 8, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Archangel Gabrielle
I like my avatar here. I have a pretty blue and white quilt over at Margaret and Helen’s place.